must.

it always ebbs and flows like this, with calm times, followed by eye gouging boredom and loneliness, followed by frustration and self inflicted powerlessness. it all explodes with a flurry of conversations and attempted change, and then starts over again.

just work and eat and sleep and workout and repeat? eye gouging.

i need to just start reaching out to people. i dont know why i wait for things to come to me. must make that energy in myself. must fucking do something.

must travel.

must find people to travel with.

make the most of all this time thats flyin by.