why are you talking to me

?

again

If I regarded my life from the point of view of the pessimist, I should be undone. I should seek in vain for the light that does not visit my eyes and the music that does not ring in my ears. I should beg night and day and never be satisfied. I should sit apart in awful solitude, a prey to fear and despair. But since I consider it a duty to myself and to others to be happy, I escape a misery worse than any physical deprivation.

helen keller

helen keller

It is for us to pray not for tasks equal to our powers, but for powers equal to our tasks, to go forward with a great desire forever beating at the door of our hearts as we travel toward our distant goal.


...somehow, this is relevant.

5 weeks was supposed to be the marker

and then i passed 6, and it was, well, goin okay. and then i got a stupid email that set my brain on fire again.

yoga today was intense. like i was physically pushing the sour emotions out of my body. i wish i could have let them spill out a bit more, but it just wasn't the place for that kind of crumpling. i think it was good, none the less.

so.

now the questions are, how do i get him out of my head? and how do i go about filling my time and space with fun people that make me feel good? i certainly have read those god damn emails enough times to know there is nothing more left to understand.

outside the male dramas: i have typed the resignation letter, but of course am still unsure about giving it to them. i have filled out the farm app. i'm back to regular yoga-ing. i baked some cupcakes. and its gourd season. color me joyful.

letgo.

walking along wacker i realized: i am J is A is me. it kinda sucked.