ISLAND TIME.

1 Anderson Island
2 Allan Island
3 Baby Island
4 Bainbridge Island
5 Bateman Island
6 Bird Rocks
7 Black Island
8 Blakely Island
9 Bodelteh Island
10 Burrows Island
11 Camano Island
12 Cottonwood Island
13 Craft Island
14 Cutts Island
15 Cypress Island
16 Deception Island
17 Destruction Island
18 Dot Island
19 Eagle Island
20 Eliza Island
21 Erickson Island
22 Fidalgo Island
23 Fir Island
24 Fox Island
25 Gedney Island
26 Goat Island
27 Guemes Island
28 Harbor Island
29 Harstine Island
30 Hat Island
31 Herron Island
32 Hope Island, north puget sound
33 Hope Island, South puget sound
34 Ika Island
35 Indian Island
36 Jack Island
37 James Island, San Juan Islands
38 James Island, Pacific Coast
39 Jetty Island
40 Kalamut Island
41 Kellogg Island
42 Ketron Island
43 Kiket Island
44 Lady Island
45 Locke Island
46 Long Island
47 Lummi Island
48 Marrowstone Island
49 Maury Island
50 McGlinn Island
51 McMicken Island
52 McNeil Island
53 Mercer Island
54 Northwest Island
55 Olympus Island
56 Portage Island
57 Protection Island
58 Puget Island
59 Raft Island
60 Reach Island
61 Rennie Island
62 Saddlebag Island
63 Samish Island
San Juan Islands
64Barnes Island
65 Cactus Island
66 Charles Island
67 Deadman Island
68 Henry Island
69 Johns Island
70 Lope Island
71 Matia Island
72 Orcas Island
73 Patos Island
74 Puffin Island
75 Ripple Island
76 San Juan Island
77 Satellite Island
78 Shaw Island
79 Sucia Island
80 Waldron Island
81 Savage Island
82 Skagit Island
83 Sinclair Island
84 Smith Island
85 Squaxin Island
86 Steamboat Island
87 Strawberry Island
88 Stretch Island
89 Tatoosh Island
90 Vashon Island
91 Vendovi Island
92 Waadah Island
93 Whidbey Island
94 Yellow Island
95 Young Island

rays of february sparkling on the water

February sun in my eyes and songs in my ears that imprinted themselves on July 2010 make for a heavy kind of summer nostalgia. I feel it mostly in my throat and stomach. It makes me think of A, of grassy parks, of flavors, and of warmth on bare skin. I crave that.

Busy season is floating by, with relatively little stress compared to previous years. I don’t know what I’m doing in 4 weeks or 4 months, but I guess I’m okay with that. I’ve thought about Hawaii wwoofing, or weird independent jaunts through Asian countries. I’ve also thought about staying, and working, and trying to find satisfaction in a job and a structure and a city. Really, where ever I’m at I just want to feel that warmth on my bare skin and a connection with people.

I’ve been getting wispy wants for a person in my life. For the first time in a while, it’s accompanied by an awareness that I need to be careful who I impart those wants upon. Somehow Michael Pollan’s quote feels like it can be modified from food to humans - make connections, mostly friends, be careful with them. Food and friends, the life sustaining forces.

Worked a little on my island goal this weekend. Will make that a separate post, as the list is long.

2011

I returned from Camas yesterday. This morning I shopped, returning with a new gridded notebook. For lunch I made Tom Kha Soup for the first time. T's birthday dinner is tonight, Kate and I are cooking.

New years was lackluster, I had only medium energies. We (me and S) watched a show at the White Eagle. I had drinks with S(O) and D. Over the course of winter break I developed a crush on what I will assume was a jerk, I refused a kiss from M, and somehow feel as though I bruised S(M)'s heart a little bit without meaning to. In the end, I drove home feeling alone and very confused about where my anxieties were actually rooted.

I'm excited for the clean slate of 2011, even though the first three months are blocked off with work. The gridded note book is intended for planning. or dreaming. or both. or, maybe just infographics.

everybody poops.

monday morning i got my form letter from the farm, thanking me for my application and explaining that they receive so much interest that they just can't accomodate us all. i stayed in bed an extra hour, then shed a few tears (which felt overly dramatic), then thanked whatever karmic power there is that i hadn't quit my job pre-emptively.

it is now wedensday, and i'm back to thinking job-quitting is the best plan. every time i start to dig into these interests, or leaf through other peoples passions (photo blogs, cooking blogs, stories of interests-turned-full-time-occupation -- anything inspiring i can find on the internet) i realize a few things:

• everyone fails a time or ten;
• awesome things dont generate themselves. they take thought, effort, and deliberate action.
• if you spend all your time doing something not awesome, your time for doing awesome stuff will be inadequate.
• networks?

anyways. i wouldn't want to become one of those people who feels too entitled. there is probably something good about not being accepted as a glamorous, well fed, italian farmer.

too much talking, back to brainstorming.

DECEMBER!

good news:
bourbon and hot cider,
dresses and tights,
feasts and friends,
decisions and changes,
fireplaces and cozies,
visits and plans.

I kept telling myself that my 27th year was going to be amazing, then I realized that technically i have finished 27 years and am starting on my 28th. So, i dont know how i feel about that. but the point remains, that the next twelve months will be rife with excitement and purpose. even if i have to force it a bit. excitement and purpose dont just invite themselves over, you know.

must.

it always ebbs and flows like this, with calm times, followed by eye gouging boredom and loneliness, followed by frustration and self inflicted powerlessness. it all explodes with a flurry of conversations and attempted change, and then starts over again.

just work and eat and sleep and workout and repeat? eye gouging.

i need to just start reaching out to people. i dont know why i wait for things to come to me. must make that energy in myself. must fucking do something.

must travel.

must find people to travel with.

make the most of all this time thats flyin by.